SIM Life - Self Insert Marvel
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: My always ready Pseudo-SI (More a Genre Smart OC) is dropped into Marvel after allowing Godogma play with his character sheet. Really, there should be a law against that.
1. Chapter 1

**S.I.M. Life**

"Oh, come on!" I complained. "There is no way a 60pt character's mutant ability is better than the ability to make high tech armor."

"Hey, I'm just saying that armor can be damaged or lost. You can also be caught out of armor, but the X-gene is forever!" Charles smirked.

"Until you get shot with a neutralizer or someone slaps a collar on you and then it's off to the happy camps!" I retorted. "Armor can be rebuilt if anything happens to it and it doesn't come with hate groups who want you dead, except maybe the Amish, and some of the more militant Quakers."

"How about mystical empowerment then?"

"Better than being a mutant, true, but the mystic world is so damn small that you are up against the big boys even if you are a small fish."

"I think I'll stick with being a mutant. I can always make my abilities seem like they are coming from some magic/alien device so people won't prevent me from dating their daughters."

"And I'm sticking with advanced tech knowledge with most of the points put into armor."

"Most?"

I grinned. "Yeah, most. A point in General means I can invent something like the DVD player and become rich as Gates! You didn't think I could build advanced armor out of tin cans, did ya?"

"John, you are such a munchkin. That's like getting resources, level 6 for three measly character building points."

"It's not like that, it is that! It may take a couple of weeks in game time, but unless the GM is trying to screw me, it always works out. It's a way of using my power's to make money, they work well for that."

"Couldn't any character spend a couple of points and get that?"

"Yeah, but unless you are specializing in tech it costs five times as much."

"Hmm. How about taking all that, adding Powerful Enemy, and using the bonus points from that to give you a minor mystical enhancement like Psychometry? That way you can avoid the mystic and mutant crap and get a major bonus on your armor skills, since it's like an unfailable diagnostic scanner that lets you know of parts that will fail before they do!"

I just stared at Charles for a minute with my mouth open. "Didn't you just call me a munchkin a minute ago?"

"Yeah, but that's cause you came up with something that I didn't think of," he said bluntly. "And I prefer the term, Power Gamer."

We both broke into laughter at that.

"Ok, but what about the 'Powerful Enemy' bit? That's asking for trouble," I said once we'd stopped laughing.

"Nah, the GM always gives you powerful enemies anyway or the game's no fun, this just adds one that give you some background and an extra one for your party to deal with. It's like free character building points with some bonus XP to be given later."

"I always avoided playing as a Power Gamer because it might take the fun out of it."

"What's the worst that can happen?"

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"God, I hate prison food."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have stolen military secrets," the guard snarks at me.

Let me jump back a bit and then you'll get why I'm in this mess.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

I looked at the big screen TV in front of me as it showed a battle between the avengers and a couple of villains I didn't recognize... Live!

No, I have no idea how I got here, all I know is that I am here... in the Marvel Universe.

I'm torn between having a fangasm in my pants and wetting them in terror. Either way I'm probably going to have to change my pants in a minute.

For something to do I remove my pants and am happy to find I am wearing clean underwear, though for how much longer I can't say. Well, at least I won't have to clean the carpets.

I distract myself by removing my socks and make little fists with my feet. Normally I don't take advice from action movies even if they do have Bruce Willis in them, but damn if it wasn't working!

I have white plush carpeting and a giant TV, unless this isn't my home, in which case I have an impending conviction for public indecency and breaking and entering.

The sound of voices entering the room behind me makes me curious as to whether I am about to meet friends or plaintiffs. The lack of screaming I take to be a good sign.

I turn around and find I am hosting a group of grumpy Japanese business men and a sharply dressed blonde who gives me a look that can only come from a female that in some way cares for a male. By that I mean takes care of, not has an emotional connection to, though there are few females that can keep from caring for someone they take care of, probably some sort of mothering instinct or the fact that, on the whole, women are more evolved socially, which means they are also more likely to back-stab you.

"Greetings," I say with a cheerful grin. "Please remove your pants, shoes, and socks and make yourselves at home."

The only way to get away with outrageous acts is to top them, I have learned and it works more often than you might think.

The interpreter is on the job and shortly everyone, but my assistant is pants-less. Seeing that I'm still making fist with my feet they start doing the same and their grumpy looks fade with their jet-lag.

I had a bunch of papers spread out on a large coffee table, so I figured that was what they were here for. Sprawling out on the floor, I waved my hand and the now cheerful businessmen joined me.

My assistant slides me an itinerary, which says I am meeting with the heads of a corporation who wants several 'small' inventions I have apparently invented and offered to Japan rather than America. We have sake and sushi arriving in about fifteen minutes, which seems silly to me so I decide to do something about it.

"We have the traditional food and drinks ordered for later, but even though that's the standard for a meet and greet, it's always struck me as odd. Anything you get here would obviously be inferior to what you get at home so I thought I might ask if anyone would prefer something local, which at least has the novelty of being new."

The interpreter rattled off a translation of what I'd said, well he probably did, for all I know he could've said, 'The round eyed devil must die. Who would like the honor of making the first cut?' They all grin and nod, which still fails to tell me which it was. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm a tad paranoid.

"That would be greatly appreciated," the interpreter says with a wide smile. "Pizza and beer would be most welcome."

I wave to my assistant who makes a call, cancelling the specialty order and asking for pizza and beer. Sure it's still going to cost a bit, since I'm still using the same catering company to handle it, but they do make better pizza than the local delivery places and they deliver beer!

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Long story short—we made bail the next day and after paying some hefty fines, I insisted on covering them as I was the host, we were all free men again.

No, I don't intend to explain what happened. In fact... I'm not quite sure what happened. I recall more alcohol, a bar, strippers, a bar-fight, and explaining that martial arts weren't allowed in this sort of activity. I also have a vague memory of an 80 year old Japanese businessman trading punches with a burly biker, neither trying to dodge but actually taking turns.

The interpreter is still out of it and has a g-string he's wearing like an armband.

I turn to the rest of the group as we ride back to my place in my limo. "I don't recall if we ever got around to talking business, but damn this was fun!"

"Yo dog," the 80' year old business man with a black eye and wearing a leather jacket says, "You mah niggah?" and he holds out a fist.

I bump fists with him, "Fo shizzle my nizzle."

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

I picked a dozen devices and leased them to Japan. I could have done more, in fact I had the designs for at least three or four items from 'home' that would put me at resources level 6, but truthfully I prefer to remain at level 5. Level 6 makes you too big of a target.

Yes, I had discovered I am slightly paranoid on and off. I'm guessing Charles convinced me to let him min/max my character. God only knows what additional problems he's given me or what the points were put into.

I have no doubt my lack of memory is also part of his efforts. Depending on your GM you can get away with claiming that you remember skills and abilities on the flimsiest of pretenses, but unfortunately I had no one here to appeal to I have a feeling that quite a few powers are going to go undiscovered in this life.

**Typing by Stephenopolos**

**AN: Started as an SI, but I decided I would be boring so I mixed some Tony Stark into his DNA!**


	2. Chapter 2

**S.I.M. Life 2**

"You did it," my assistant says in shock as I returned home the conquering hero. Well in my mind I did. The reality is that I probably smell like a combination of a distillery and a French cathouse, I haven't shaved, I have glitter in places that make me wonder if there was in fact sex in the champagne room, and I'm pretty sure I have an untreated stab wound in my side.

"You can't prove anything!" I snap back automatically making her laugh.

"You made us rich, just like you promised Amy," she says.

"Excellent," I say, smiling broadly. "The only problem I have is a slight case of amnesia, so I hope you handled all the paperwork."

"Amnesia?" she asks, looking at me with a surprised look in her eyes. "I thought you were joking about that."

I begin to nod and then think better of it. "Yep, so I'll be relying on you to tell me what to sign and everything I need to know."

The look of surprise is instantly replaced by one of concern. "But for all you know I could rob you blind!"

I snorted and then rubbed my aching head. "I wouldn't have hired you if you were capable of that level of betrayal."

A dark look passed over her face. "You'd be amazed at what people are capable of when pushed to it. Remember what I almost resorted to, to keep my family fed?"

"Um, no. Amnesia, remember?"

She sighed and lead me in. "You had wandered in out of the desert and gotten hired on as dish washer for the truck stop I was working at. My old man had split and I was having a hard time making ends meet since I had to pay for a babysitter as well as cover Robert's half of the bills. I was debating taking up one of our customers on his offer of some quick cash for some time in his rig, when you overheard and offered to pay me for a place to stay."

She continued the story thoughtfully as she sat me on a leather couch in the living room and pulled a medkit from somewhere.

"I took you up on your offer, which was rather generous for renting a room in a two room trailer. You then invented and installed an automated dish-washing machine, made from a bunch of abandoned appliances in the back of the truck stop, and the boss let you go. I was a bit worried, but you found a new job the next day working at a car wash and one month later they let you go because you automated the entire thing, so you were no longer needed."

I grinned as she applied iodine to the, thankfully, shallow stab wound in my side. I waved off her attempts to stitch it and glued it shut with crazy glue.

"You do know that stuff is poisonous, right?" she mentioned, concern showing on her face.

"Yep, but a small amount is fine and this way I avoid unsightly scars and needles!" I said, shivering.

Great, I'm afraid of needles now. I am so kicking Charles' ass, or figuring out how to stick him as an SI in the smurfs.

"That pattern repeated every month or so for the next year and in the mean time you convinced me to become a public notary and take basic law courses. You ran out of local jobs to do about the time your inventions started needing maintenance and several places thought you were a scam artist until you pointed out that all machines need maintenance and your prices were very reasonable and still cost much less than having someone work the job full time, so you ended up pulling in quite a bit while doing little actual work."

"Two people in a two bedroom trailer for over a year?" I asked quirking an eyebrow. "Are we involved and if so, how involved?"

She smiled. "We flirt a lot, but it was three of us in the little trailer and you have a closer relationship with Amy than you do with me."

"Girlfriend?" I ask.

"Well she does share your bed at times," she admitted, but I saw a spark of humor in her eyes that made me think I was missing the joke.

A blonde blur crossed my vision and knocked me flat in a tackle an NFL lineman would have been proud of.

"About time you got back! Where were you? Did you know you smelled like a brewery? Why is there glitter in your hair? Where did you get the pants from, cause you left yours on the couch," she fired off, talking too fast for me to answer.

"I have no idea, I seem to have lost my memory, my assistant, who still hasn't told me her name, was just informing me that I have a girlfriend named Amy."

The girl who climbed off me couldn't have been more than twelve and looked like a younger version of my assistant. "Hah, mom says I can't have a boyfriend until I'm twenty. You are like my best friend, and a brother combined. You make a fantastic electric blanket though, you generate more heat than a space heater and don't snore nearly as loud as mom does."

"I don't snore!" Mom protested, blushing.

Amy turned to me and grinned. "I have video of you two sleeping together with sound recordings that prove it!"

I turned to my assistant and raised an eyebrow. "Well mom, I thought we weren't involved."

"You aren't," Amy promised. "Winters are cold in the desert and trailers aren't that well insulated. Rather than freeze we huddled together around our glowing roomy for warmth and in the morning I'd pose you two for maximum embarrassment so I could get away with murder that day, while you two were stuttering and blushing!"

My assistant's eyes grew big. "So you stuck my hand down his.. and his hand up my..."

"Nope," Amy grinned, "I just had to push you two close together and you did the rest on your own!"

I was curious so I asked, "Did you want us together?"

Amy made a face like she'd bitten into something sour. "Are you kidding?! One of you would kill the other one within a week! Friends, sure. Lovers, maybe if you got real drunk and never talked about it while sober, but dating? Mom prefers assholes and I think you look for strictly one nighters, so you can avoid any kind of commitment."

"I do not look for assholes and watch your tongue young lady," she admonished her daughter.

"Yes, you're not too big to spank," I pointed out trying to be helpful, only to have both females fall over laughing.

"What?" I asked, wondering what was so funny.

"I asked you to spank her once, since I'm used to having a strong male presence around for that," my assistant began, while Amy mouthed the word 'assholes', "but what she did made you vow never to spank her ever."

I looked at Amy. "Let me guess, I'm a wuss to tears and sob stories?"

She grinned. "No, but repeating lines from a scene I saw in a movie I wasn't supposed to watch had you so uncomfortable around me that I won't even joke about it anymore."

"Thankfully, I don't remember that now." It was nice to find an upside to my amnesia; less mental scarring.

"I told you that neural mapper was going to fry your brain," Amy said softly.

"I have a neural mapper?"

"Yeah," she agreed. "It was supposed to get the final reading for your armor's cybernetic linking system."

"Armor?" I asked with grin that almost hurt.

Amy giggled. "It's in the old trailer, you wanted to make sure no one could track one to the other, so we let the trailer and the land it's on get repo'd and sold a couple of times before you bought it through a fake identity you established, so if you were ever tracked by the bad guys, since you said being a superhero was one possibility for you, we'd be ok."

"Possibility?"

Amy sighed. "You warned me you might erase some of your personal memories, but I was sure you would remember your baby. I swear I caught you cooing to it at times."

I could see she was hiding something and it was easy enough to figure out what it was. So I got up and hugged her. "I tell you what kiddo, I promise to still love you like a little sister, even if I don't remember you. I may have lost the knowledge, but the feelings have stuck."

Her answering hug probably ripped open the wound in my side, but I didn't care.

"Men come and go," she said sadly with her face buried in my chest, "only women stay."

"I'm not getting a sex change," I answer automatically, feeling like I'd had this conversation with her before.

"You remember!" she said excitedly. "But you could nail lesbians if you were female," she quickly added.

I actually paused as i tried to wrap my mind around that thought, but Amy looked like she thought I was seriously considering it, so I quickly answered, "Nope, I like my plumbing as is and even if I go somewhere we will still be able to keep in touch."

"I've heard that before," she huffed with a tear in her eye.

"How about I get a cybernetic implant and give you something that allows you to access it anywhere I am?" I suggest.

"You'd do unlicensed brain surgery on yourself for me?" she asked.

"Of course I would! I vowed I would love you no matter what and always be ready to listen to you, didn't I? Well how could I do that if we couldn't talk?" 'I'm pretty sure it sounds like something I would do anyway.'

My assistant smiled. "I told you, you were closer to her than to me."

"Yeah, well you'll always be my cousin from Arkansas."

"Cousin?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah, means its still legal to nail you even if I can't date you."

"Asshole," she snorted, trying not to laugh.

"You know you aren't too big to put over my knee," I pointed out.

"And I'm pretty sure using the lines I used to get out of it would have the opposite effect," Amy added.

She burst out laughing and joined us in the hug making me feel like something missing had just been returned to me.

"So, do you have the papers ready for me to sign making us all filthy rich?" I asked with a grin as we break the group hug.

"I still say you should make sure I'm not robbing you blind," she grumbled.

Amy laughed. "I'm surprised she didn't give you the 'I almost sold my body' speech. If she's doing the whole 'don't blindly trust me' bit."

I nodded. "She did, but it still doesn't make sense to me. How is selling your own body for purposes that you can legally do if no money changes hands make you immoral? I think businessmen are much more corrupt. At least with a prostitute they tell you upfront they plan on screwing you and how much it'll cost."

"I know!" Amy agreed. "How can being honest and adding a financial transaction to a normally legal activity make it 'immoral'?"

"I swear, when I figure out which one of you corrupted the other one, they are so getting a spanking!" my assistant groused.

"Me! me!" we both chanted wiggling our butts at her.

She groaned and went to retrieve the paperwork, while we collapsed back on the sofa in laughter.

"I'm glad you're still you," Amy says leaning into me.

"So am I and we'll start on designing that implant tomorrow."

"Why not today?"

"I have paperwork to sign and I need a shower."

"Probably several," she agreed.

"Brat!"

"Old coot!"

**Transcription by: Stephenopolos**


	3. Chapter 3

**SIM Life — Chapter 3**

The paperwork and several showers, along with a little more crazy glue, took way less time than I would have guessed, but I still have flecks of glitter clinging to me.

"I'm a marked man. In a world filled with sin and vice I bear the mark of Cain. They say The Snake tempted Eve with the apple to get us cast out, but I know the truth. It wasn't an apple that caused us to fall it was a pair, a glitter covered pair and as for The Snake... he's in my pants."

'I wonder if I could get scales tattooed on him,' I thought to myself.

"You could get scales done, but it'd hurt like the dickens," a voice warned in my ear.

"Ahhh!" I scream jumping about five feet and losing my towel.

Amy and 'Mom' are both standing there, heartily amused, but while Amy is looking at my face, Mom isn't looking anywhere near.

"How'd you know what I was thinking?"

"Because, you did the Bogart face in the bathroom mirror while looking at the glitter and did this whole spiel out loud including looking down and wondering about tattoos before," Amy said.

I would bend over and retrieve my towel, but Mom's eyes are making me think that bending over in front of her is a bad idea and Amy just seems amused anyway.

"Was watching me shower one of our daily entertainments in that tiny trailer?" I ask.

"The door to the shower was removed because it stuck in warm weather, and we didn't have cable, so yes. Mom likes the scenery and I like the monologues you do while showering." Amy grinned.

"Seems kinda unfair." I pouted.

"Well you also got to watch mom shower, which you seemed to enjoy. I remember getting jealous that you didn't want to watch me shower. Being young and foolish at the time-"

"You were ten!" Mom pointed out.

"And a half!" Amy quickly added, before continuing, "Being young and foolish at the time, I decided it was because my showers were boring, so I learned to juggle and some basic magic tricks. I had to trick you and tie you down to make you watch my first performance."

"I almost wet myself laughing," Mom admitted. "When she did the bit where the magician pulls out the endless scarf or makes things appear or disappear, your left eye began to twitch."

Amy blushed. "It was all about making things appear to be coming from somewhere they're not and I didn't have many places to do that with in the shower."

Mom laughed. "I had to give her 'the talk' and explain a few things."

"Like why the one watching the shower needed some alone time afterwards," Amy added, making mom blush.

"I Still recall what she said while she was untying you." Mom giggled and imitated Amy's voice, "Did you at least like the juggling?"

"So how did it all work out?"

"Well I no longer made you watch me shower or got jealous that you watched mom," Amy admitted.

"She did continue the juggling and magic tricks, in a more traditional venue, because as it turns out, you like juggling and sleight of hand."

"I wanted you to love me and pay attention to me," Amy admitted, "and since the dating and marriage thing only lead to temporary amounts of both love and attention, I decided to find a relationship type that would guarantee me love and affection from you till the end of time," Amy said proudly. "I made you my brother!"

"Kinky," I said, looking at 'mom'.

"Step-brother," mom quickly added. "I'm not letting your fantasy life ruin mine."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Come on, we need to make sure the final readings on your amnesia machine worked."

"I thought my armor was at the trailer?" I half-asked.

"The armor is, however our main workshop is here. If someone snagged the trailer they'd get some rough repair equipment and replacement parts. It'd let you repair things in an emergency, but all the real secrets and precise calibration equipment are here."

Mom gave me a look and began stripping, but Amy pulled me out of the bathroom. Damn the luck! Oh well, I'll just have to catch the show another time.

"Hold on!" I said, pulling loose when we reached the living room. "I want pants." Grabbing and pulling on the pants I'd apparently left behind before taking my Japanese partners out, I felt a little bit better.

Amy lead me over to the bookcase and I grinned. "I didn't!"

"We did," she said and pulled on the book titled Greed, causing the whole bookcase to slide to the side and reveal his and her fire poles leading down into the dark.

With matching grins we jumped onto our respective fire poles and slid down into the dark. We must have slid for at least a minute and it was a blast, with strange lights whizzing by and the wind blowing against us.

The bottom came up much too fast, but I somehow managed to stop without hurting myself and found that both me and Amy were now dressed like Batman and Robin.

Amy posed and giggled before going over to a large dial on the wall and changing it from Batman and Robin to Action Bastard and Lollipop.

Either I or Amy have a weird sense of humor and from her giggling and how hard I'm finding it not to join in, I'm thinking the answer is both!

We are in a large cavern, despite the fact that I know the geology of the area couldn't create something like this. There are columns of rotating holograms either showing detailed schematics of different devices or multiple TV broadcasts from around the world.

There are also a whole lot of tables covered in tools and parts. Amy grabs my hand and leads me into a section done in red on one side and blue on the other. The red section is much more advanced, but the blue seems to have a greater sense of order.

"That's my section," Amy says proudly pointing to the blue section.

I have a couple of large monitors that are cluttered with notes and half completed documents, while Amy has a couple of whiteboards filled with lists and dates. I note she is developing an advanced alloy for bicycle helmets. Apparently she doesn't like the current ones on the market and is designing her own. She's putting a lot of circuitry in it I noticed.

"I feel really proud of you when I look at what you've done and I don't know why," I told her and am treated to a beaming smile that lights up the room. Well, that or she has something set for increasing the lighting in here when she smiles, and with her obvious intelligence I'm not ruling that out.

She pokes me with a finger. "You are the one who taught me all this."

"Well, you must have been a brilliant student then," I say.

"Yes, I was," she agrees with no fake modesty. Not that I'd let her have any modesty when it comes to her work. It was brilliant and it showed.

She pulls me into my section and points out something that looks like a cross between a dentist's chair and an electrical chair with countless wires and needles sticking out of it, lots of needles! "Your mind wiper," she announces.

I run a finger along the edge of the headrest and I can almost hear the scream of pain using it would cause. My eyes flicker over to the touch screen control and the flashing 'Load Data?' on it. Giving into it, I push 'yes' and whatever data it managed to get from me earlier began to upload to the system.

The lights flicker as my computer system draws more power to process it all. I wonder how long it'll take my system to process it and I get a little dizzy and could almost swear I hear a busy signal.

The lights snap off, leaving us in the darkness and Amy says, "Lights on battery backup. That's what we forgot while building this place."

Little flecks of light began to gather from the corners of the room faster and faster, whirling around a central spot like it was the eye of a hurricane until all the light snapped into place and a glowing blue humanoid form growled, "I live!"

Naturally, me and Amy clung to each other and screamed like little girls.

The glowing blue form turns to us and I notice he has no hair, or pupils, or pants.

In keeping with my current mindset I blurt out, "You look like Mr. Manhattan!"

"Doctor Manhattan, if you please. I didn't go to evil medical school for four years to be called Mr," he misquoted with a grin.

I blink and begin to chuckle. Amy relaxes but still holds on to me, unsure of what's going on.

"Was it really necessary to scare the hell out of us?" I ask.

"Yes, yes it was," he replies with a grin.

"Who are you?" Amy asks tentatively.

"I am John Flint writ large and electrically!" He glances down at his waist. "Well, writ slightly above average anyway."

I sigh. "He's my recorded personality and memories in the form of an A.I. and he needs to put on some pants."

The A.I. snaps his fingers and becomes my mirror image, except he is wearing a purple tuxedo ala the Joker.

"When did you make an A.I.?"

"When he scanned his mind with that doohickey there," my A.I. says, bringing the lights back up and pointing to what Amy called the mind wiper.

"Doohickey?" she asks.

"Well it was supposed to do three things at once and then be chucked into the bin, so we never named it," he explained.

"What 'three things'?" we both ask at once.

He grins. "One: it got the final recordings so the armor can be adjusted. Two: it copied all my memories into the system so I'll always be around, as I promised. And three: it injected a rather large implant thingy directly into his skull."

"Implant thingy?" she says dubiously.

"A device that not only will allow him to interface with electronics and enhanced armor functions, but will also allow one special girl to contact him regardless of distance!"

Amy hugs me so tightly that I'm glad my outfit has built in body armor, cause I'm running out of glue.

"Tell me everything about the implant," I say while rubbing Amy's back as she does that 'Happy Tears' thing that women do.

"Can't," A.I.-Me says far too cheerfully.

"Why not?" I ask confused.

"Because we don't fully recall what we did to make it," he admits. "All I recall is that alcohol was involved, that stripper with the snake turned out to be an actual voodoo priestess, and we may have... sacrificed a goat."

"You're kidding me," Amy says flatly.

A.I.-Me shakes his head. "Magic is real, just rare and much harder to control than science, so it's generally a good idea to avoid magic altogether."

"So why didn't you?" she asked.

"Because of the possibilities it opens up," A.I.-Me explained. "We tested the device thoroughly and magic seems to have boosted it by an order of magnitude. Some of the effects vary in strength, depending on our emotions, but the end result is an enormous gain. For instance with that implant the way it was originally designed, the armor had to be, not only in direct physical contact, but in exact position with centimeters to spare, for it to function properly. Now we can just slap it on and we don't have to insure we maintain exact body specs or rescan every three months. Our data pipeline between our brain and gear also jumped by a factor of three in a rest state and an estimated factor of thirteen when any of several strong emotions are involved."

"That is impressive," Amy admitted.

I nodded dumbly.

"It's beyond that." A.I.-Me grinned smugly. "Our signal to noise ratio dropped to nil. There have even been times where it corrected the command I sent to what I meant."

We both stared at him in shock.

"Unless we are magically scanned specifically for the implant it can't be found. We didn't stick it in our brain, we implanted it in our soul." He grinned wildly. "Our biggest hurdle has always been the interface between us and our armor. We want a true connection to it, not the crude approximation Iron Man and his ilk has and the quest for that perfection has lead us to this."

"Really?" I ask.

The hologram blushes. "Well that and a stripper with a snake who does topless fortune telling."

"Topless?" Amy's face scrunches in thought.

I nod. "It's not that uncommon. For instance if I attach my lips to a girl's chest I can predict the next forty-five minutes of her life fairly accurately."

"Why only forty-five minutes?" Amy asks curiously.

"Because after that I roll over and go to sleep," I replied sagely.

Amy slowly works out what I mean and I can see she's torn between laughter and smacking me with something.

"Yep, I get to see her breasts up close and personal and she predicts if I'll get lucky or not. I love topless fortune telling," A.I.-Me says with a grin.

"Ahhh, so it's kinda like prostitution," Amy says.

"Sure, except really it allows her to send off the people she doesn't like without them getting upset. So it's like prostitution, but pickier," I reply.

"And speaking of getting laid..." the A.I. teases out. "I want a body, so I can do human things."

"Can you move back into mine?" I ask, thinking it'd be an easy way to regain my memories.

"Sorry, Boss, No can do. Nor do I want to," the A.I. says flatly.

"What? Why?" Amy says beating me to the punch.

"Because I promised to always be there for you and like this I can be," he said making her smile. "And do you know how easy it is to think now? That overclocked monkey brain I had has nothing on the computer in this place!"

"Great for linear, not as good at intuitive leaps," I point out.

"True," he nods, "but we have enough ideas in the memory that it'll be a while before that becomes a factor in our work."

I grin. I've always been better at intuitive than linear. I can't begin to tell you the number of projects that got derailed because of new ideas, that a more linear me will probably be able to finish.

"So how are we going to get you a body?" Amy asks.

"L.M.D." he announces.

"A.I.M." I say quietly, almost reverently. Sure it's a criminal organization, but it's a criminal organization with advanced tech!

Amy raises an eyebrow and waits patiently for one of us to crack, knowing we suck at keeping secrets from her.

"A.I.M." I reply. "Advanced Idea Mechanics. It's a criminal organization that is into tech beyond what most people ever see."

"And they have a forgotten or abandoned base in the desert." A.I.-Me grins.

"Which means there is a good chance they have a few spare LMDs if not a machine for making them," I add.

"But what's an LMD?" Amy asks.

"Life model decoy," we say in unison before I fall silent and let him finish. "Basically an android that can't be told from a human without some dissection involved. I can use one of those as my body which also means I can run the company in my, I mean John's, absence and do all those things humans love so much!"

"Sex?" she asks, having not hit that stage herself and still finding the adults preoccupation with the subject funny.

"Sega!" my clone announces seriously. "Phantasy Star Five is coming out and I'm used to having hands to work the controller."

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	4. Chapter 4

**S.I.M. Life 4**

"We need to call you something other than John," I say. "I'm thinking initials or something similar, so we don't get confused."

The A.I.-Me rubs his holographic chin thoughtfully. "Considering I have the memories and am going to be filling the role of John while you are off having fun, I think I have more claim to the name, while you need to get used to the ID for your cover."

"Point," I agree with a grin. "Well, who am I?"

"Well, since we are going to be John Flint, we decided our armor wearing ID should be Jack Steele. Never came up with a code name, but since you can reconfigure the exterior appearance to look like different suits at will, you'd need about a dozen names there anyway."

I nodded. "We'll let someone else name them so there's less of a connection. That'll give us extra wiggle room for ditching an ID."

John splits into two identical holograms and one asks Amy, "Got anything you want my help with while they deal with boring stuff?"

Amy cocks her head. "Seriously or are you planning stuff you don't want me to know?"

His eyes soften as he looks at her. "Seriously. Me and Mom have spent the last couple of months working our asses off and haven't had a lot of time to spend with you, and now that crisis is over and we are sitting pretty, I believe I owe you a lot of one-on-one time."

"You don't owe me anything," she says and although she's smiling, there's something in her tone that sets off alarm bells.

A holographic Robbie The Robot races past with its arms flailing wildly shouting, "Danger, Will Robinson, Danger! Danger!"

It vanishes into one of the walls and we all stand there frozen for a moment before the John in front of her speaks again, "Let me rephrase that. I like spending somewhere between most, and all of my time with you, and haven't been able to do that lately. I've gotten a huge Amy time deficit and it may have adversely affected my sanity."

"Really?" she asks, her shy smile brightening up the room once more.

"Really," we all say as one.

Amy smiles broadly and the room is suddenly flooded with light, until a popping sound is heard and everything goes dark once more. Not that it matters because I'm pretty sure I'm flash blind and possibly sunburned as well.

"Amy?" I ask, as we both sit there blinking.

"Yes?" she responds in a tone that lets me know she knows exactly what happened and is trying to think of an excuse.

"Did you wire the caves illumination circuit to a visual circuit and program it to control the light levels by facial expression?"

"Maybe," she offers and I can tell she's trying not to laugh as she's not quite sure if I'm mad or not.

"I think you've gone a bit beyond the bounds of sanity with that one, since it's obviously part of a subtle attempt to influence me through subliminal behavior modification, but then I've always said sanity was a bit too high maintenance for people like us anyway and I obviously deserve this for neglecting you," John says.

"What he said," I chip in cheerfully. "And if I could see I would hug and kiss you and name you George!"

Amy laughed. "I'm afraid that would hurt a bit right now, I think I actually sunburned us, but I didn't think I'd smile that wide!"

"You have more exposed skin then I do because you chose the Robin costume." John snickered.

"I have the legs for it," she smirks audibly.

"Are you suggesting that _I_ don't?" I sniff haughtily.

"The proof is in the pudding," she retorted watching me or at least looking where I should be.

"That's it!" I announce in Homer's voice. "Someone is hankerin' for a spankerin'!"

"Danger, Will Robinson, Danger! Danger!" Robbie announced, running across the floor. Not that we could see him, we were still sitting in the dark.

"What's up with Robbie anyway?" I ask.

"I think he's a subconscious manifestation of those subtle warning cues we often miss. In this case, it is joking with Amy about spanking her. You may not remember the event, but I do, and trust me we don't want to live through that again," John warned me.

I nod then realize no one can see me. "Ok, how do we restore the lights in here?"

"The burnt filaments will repair themselves in a minute or so," John promised.

"What!? Really?" I ask surprised.

"Yes, really," he promised.

"Nanotech?"

John and Amy laugh.

"I wish," John swears. "No, more along the lines of a tiny filament repair machine, which we made look like a fly, for obvious reasons, in each bulb."

"Should have put two in," I reply thinking of the joke. The lights came on and I blink and look around. "I can see! John! Quick, fix the lights before she can smile again!"

"Inserting a cap on the upper limits," John replied. "Done!"

The lights go out and I chuckle. "Amy, don't frown so much it makes wrinkles and without light, the system can't read your face to up the light level again."

"Oops!"

"John, add a lower limit as well."

"I can keep the light manipulator on?" she asked.

"Of course you can, all teenage girls try and manipulate their families, you're just a bit more, _talented_ at it than most," I replied.

The lights came on and shot up to daylight levels as Amy smiles and hugs me.

John sighs. "Hurry up and get me a body so I can hug her."

I nod. "Ok, but we need to start looking different from one another, not a lot, but enough so no one thinks we're twins."

"I'll add some changes and slowly shift it away from our standard look. I want an extra couple for other uses, like maid and gardener too," John said. "Strangers in the home are always a bad idea when you have secrets like ours."

"You got it," I promise.

"So you could have one of your bodies as a girl my age, right?" Amy asks.

"Danger, Will Robinson, Danger! Danger!" Robbie blared zooming through the room once more.

"Nope, they have to be male and my age," John lies cheerfully. "The maid will be male."

"Oh," Amy says disappointed, but I can't help but feel we dodged a bullet somehow.

***0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0***

"Not exactly Kitt," I joke as I hop in the driver's seat of a battered blue and brown pickup.

"Yes, but this has something that Kitt lacks," John says through the truck's stereo system as he backs up and pulls into the street, controlling it remotely.

"Like what?" I ask, glad I don't have to drive, thanks to John automating the truck, since I don't remember the area. A small video screen pops up from the dash and shows a familiar looking figure in the shower. "Hommina, hommina!" I reply glibly.

"Ya got that right," John replies. "She requested I make sure you got to watch today's show."

"What is her name anyway? Everyone seems allergic to telling me it and how did you talk to her before you were uploaded, cause I doubt her shower..." my voice trailed off for a minute as she played with the soap, "lasted... that... long," I finished slowly.

John chuckles. "She only showers like this when she has an audience, an audience of us in fact. Once I explained what was going on she insisted on me recording her taking another shower for you."

"And her name?" I ask noticing he still hasn't told me what it is.

"We call her Mom actually. A bit kinky true, but she does mother us quite a bit. In formal situations we call her Stacy, but all other times it's Mom and a lot of flirting. Amy's assessment of our personalities and such is true however, so we just flirt... a lot. I believe Amy thinks of sleeping with Mom as the first step to leaving, so we don't."

"What are our relationships with the two?"

"Amy is a very clingy, self-declared, little sister and protégé, at a very awkward stage of development, but shows no interest in males and keeps trying to convince us to have a sex change."

"You don't think..." I trail off wondering how to phrase the question of Amy wanting a female us.

"I try not to, repression is our friend. Our being female also ties into her severe abandonment issues. She thinks all male-female relationships are temporary situations and that the male will always leave."

I winced. "Ouch. What's Mom's reaction to all of this?"

"Well it's rather obvious we find Stacy very attractive, but Amy is more important to us. Mom is pretty happy with that setup, as it mirrors her own. We lust after one another, we're good friends, maybe close enough to be considered involved, but Amy will always be more important to us."

"How did we get so attached?"

John's picture appears on the small screen. "We just are. We met a shy ten year old girl who was brilliant but unmotivated and had no male worth mentioning to look up to. We are almost a decade older than her, but fill the role of father, best friend, and teacher more than brother, but she's never had anyone worth knowing in the role of father, so she decided we had to be her older brother."

I thought about that for a second. "Stacy probably started flirting with us to make sure we were attracted to adult women and not some perv, since we ended up spending so much time alone with Amy. We continue flirting because it's comfortable, a little kinky, and by letting Amy break it up whenever she feels like it, we let her know she is the first priority for both of us."

John nodded. "Stacy is a remarkable woman, but her taste in men has always sucked. It's either a natural female attraction to dominant males, AKA assholes, or some trauma dealing with her father that I am happy not to know about. At any rate, Stacy has improved a bit in her choice of men as our situation has improved. If it becomes a problem I'll set her up with an LMD, possibly two, so she gets the ego boosting effect of two men competing for her."

"Doesn't that mean you'll be having two affairs with her at once?"

John pretends to look surprised. "Why yes, I believe it does. I wonder how that happened?"

I rolled my eyes. "Is one of our goals in life to bang her like a drum until she passes out drooling?"

"Yep, but only if it won't upset Amy and a little roleplay may be involved."

"You mean you are planning an entire Mexican soap opera," I reply, knowing I would given the chance.

"Maybe a little, but that will only work if we have LMDs to play with."

The truck turns onto a gravel road and I take in the scenery. Sand and cacti, along with some grass pushing up here and there make up the majority of the scenery. We reach the end of the gravel road pretty quickly as it ends at a small trailer, about twenty years old, that could fit in the living room of the place we have now.

"There is a hidden room under the cement slab the trailer sits on. You can access it through the shower by saying anything involving the words 'open' and 'chicken'. It's voice-print and password protected, plus who would expect you to drop from the shower to get your armor?"

I grin. "I am paranoid and good at it!"

"We are not paranoid, just safety conscious."

I shrug and pick up the small cellphone, before climbing out of the truck. Feeling the chill in the night air I realize they weren't kidding about the cold at night out here. Even with the cold I had to admit it was beautiful though. The stars shone brightly and the wind whistled around us, making me relax a bit, as I had plenty of time and didn't have to punch the clock.

John chuckled from the phones speakers. "Yeah, I know how you feel. Something about this place just drains the tension away. I've thought about having a place built out here, but I'm still working on the design and didn't have the money since we sank most of ours into the armor. I'm thinking of establishing a second ID and making some more money as an additional backup and as a business partner in a different field. Gives us some additional options for later."

I nod and then remember he can't see me. "Good idea, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. LMDs first, then we can have our fun." I enter the trailer and feel slightly nostalgic about living here with Amy and Stacy, even though I can't remember it. I feel a pain in my head and stop to rub my temples when a memory hits me.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"NPCs are great for bonus points." Charles grinned. "Take a look at the stats on these characters."

I looked them over and whistled softly. "Damn, they'd make some great backup, but the point cost for them is a killer."

"Nah, you just have to know how to play things off. Try these for flaws."

I looked at the list of flaws and winced. "Underage, clingy, obsessive love, sexual deviant, late bloomer, socially unskilled... This looks like a lethal Lolita's resume who's going to stalk, rape, kill, and eat me, and not necessarily in that order!"

"You think too small," Charles snorted.

"She'll be worse?!"

He rolled his eyes. "Underage and clingy, she'll grow out of. Obsessive love says nothing about it having to be sexual, she could love you platonically, neatly sidestepping the whole problem. Sexual deviant just means she is different than the majority of humanity so make her gay. Naivety and socially unskilled just require training to overcome, and late bloomer means you'll have even more time to fix her before you have to worry about it."

I nodded almost against my will. "That could work."

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

I blink a few times and sigh. Well apparently the obsessive love worked both ways, as I needed a copy of me with her at all times to settle my own worries about her. Still there was a world of difference between words on paper and seeing the girl in person.

I step into the shower and wonder why stripping is so popular when watching a woman shower is so much hotter. 'Oh well, an idea for later.' "Open heart, chicken surgery," I announce and the floor drops out from beneath me. I land on a slide that spirals around about seven or eight times before I hit bottom, and between the wind and the lights shooting past me, I'm surprised to hit bottom and find I'm not going very fast at all. I take a look at the slide design and realize I had purposely built it so a simple ten foot drop would take four times as long and seem about ten times longer.

'Am I a genius or what?' I could probably make a mint designing water slide parks.

I apparently decided on Gothic chic for this place. It looks like a medieval tomb complete with torches on the walls and carved skulls. The repeating pattern of the dancing flame cues me to the fact that they're holograms and I wonder why I didn't use a fractal equation so they wouldn't repeat. In the center of the room lies my masterpiece. On a stone bier is what appears to be a full set of plate armor with the gauntlets crossed over the chest holding a broadsword.

'It's all about the armor modes,' I thought to myself. 'Dread knight' mode, low agility, high attack and defense. If you have to make sure 'None shall pass!' well it was hard to do better for a slug fest.

I place my hand on the sword and say the activation phrase, "Henshin, yo!"

Yeah I'm childish, so sue me.

The armor breaks apart into little octagons and flow around me, reforming into Dread Knight, but the sword is absent as it is now a net of wire and sensors that cover my frame. Nano-tech may be beyond me, but what I like to call T.L.T. or 'Tiny-Lego-Tech', works perfectly fine. I mentally flip the switch to activate the implant and the world turns inside out...

The armor keeps me upright so when I regain my equilibrium I find myself still standing.

"Are you OK, Jack?" John's voice asks, from the cell phone I'd dropped, sounding worried.

I isolate the frequency and backtrack it to a familiar server. Apparently we don't trust any of the public phone services and broadcast our own encoded transmissions for communication. We'll need a satellite eventually, but in an eighty mile radius we're fine for now. I jack-in (pun whole-hardheartedly intended) a visual representation of a dojo with me in my armor announcing, "Do you think that's air you're breathing?"

John blinks and begins to grin. "You had me worried for a minute there, but seeing how you are actually running a simulated environment with no problem, I'm guessing the implant took."

"Better and worse. Better as in the three hundred percent increase actually shocks the system a bit, but works quite well." I flip open a video feed port and watch John and Amy work on her helmet for a moment before returning to the conversation with John, "The higher end ones are going to be a bitch to adapt to, if it can be done and my brain doesn't just leak out my ears."

John shrugs. "If that happens you can move in with me. I have plenty of space."

I sigh. "Unfortunately if it happens I'll already be toast."

John just nods. "Enough moping. Go loot A.I.M. you know grand larceny always makes you feel better."

I grin. Larceny against deserving targets is fun!

I grab the data John has collected about A.I.M. and slowly take it in, increasing the rate carefully so I don't go into overload shock again.

For those not in the know, and those who missed last chapter (lazy bastards!) A.I.M. stands for Advanced Idea Mechanics an off shoot of Hydra, more concerned with advanced tech than ruling the world. Seriously, they've let shots at taking over countries go, to play with new tech. If it wasn't for their sticky fingers around other people's toys and complete lack of concern for innocent bystanders, I could actually like them. They've clashed with a lot of heroes, but mainly the high tech ones because of said sticky fingers.

I activate flight mode and slowly take her out. The tunnel to get out has so many twists and turns that I don't know whether it's to confuse pursuers or me! Thankfully, it's in the memory banks so I don't have to remember any of it myself. The tunnel exit is behind a small waterfall, but I follow it down to the rocks and slip into the water, deciding to surface a couple of miles downstream to insure that no one knows where I come from.

I consult the map as I finally get a chance to fly in the open air and discover that the A.I.M. base's entrance is behind a major waterfall some twenty miles away.

Ok, truthfully I spent a couple of hours screwing around in the air, before checking, flying is more fun than you'd ever believe.

Does everyone hide their secret entrances behind waterfalls? I'm taking my time, just enjoying flying, when I spot a small waterfall and decide to check. I find a cave entrance behind the waterfall and a hidden trail large enough for two men hidden by bushes and vines that have taken over the area. I get a slight tingle of foreboding, but continue anyway. Nothing ventured, nothing gained and it's probably just my paranoia acting up anyway. I enter the cave, commanding my helm to emit light in the visible spectrum. A series of octagons around my head like a crown, flip over and light the place up.

If I didn't see it I wouldn't believe it.

There is a stable and some gun smithing equipment, that probably hasn't seen visitors in decades, but the thick veins of silver and the cowboy outfit neatly folded on a shelf catch my eye. A large white cowboy hat hangs above a small black mask and I can see a pair of six shooters, pearl handled, peeking out from under the edge of the hat. I unconsciously reach out to touch them, but I could swear someone is whispering in my ear that I am unworthy.

I turn and leave, I got enough of that shit from my ex.

Even with counter surveillance measures active and flying slowly to minimize my signature I'll reach the base in under ten minutes. I pass at least half a dozen waterfalls on my way.

I don't have the slightest urge to check any of them.

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	5. Chapter 5

**S.I.M. Life 5**

"John, I'm going in," I send, but all I get in reply is the mental equivalent of static. I wonder what he's preoccupied with. "Predator," I command and the surface of the armor ripples as section by section of little octagons flip over exposing photosensitive, radar absorbing, surfaces as well as reconfiguring into something that a certain movie studio could sue me for.

I slide in between the falls and the wall instead of forging right in. Predator mode is invisible to the naked eye and most sensors, but it isn't nearly as tough, being unable to shrug off energy attacks, the way Dread Knight can, due to it's energy absorbing surfaces and the amount of power it uses to absorb and duplicate the energy in the environment around it, means the force shield has to be at low levels because of both stealth issues and energy costs.

It also makes me sweat like crazy as the heat builds up inside the suit after a few minutes. I had the idea of using the heat I generate as part of the power cost, so I wouldn't fry while the cloak was on, but it hadn't panned out because of the number of variables involved. Speaking of which, I check the power consumption stats and am pleasantly surprised to find that while energy costs are seven percent above projected, and at least five percent of that was because of the unusual variety and density of sensors here, computing costs where forty percent below expected.

I carefully glided into the featureless white entryway as alarms started blaring, I realized the reason for the lower computing costs.. it still needed to be fully tested as the formulas I had currently loaded were an untested variant that might need to be adjusted, in other words my cloak sucked.

"Dread knight," I ordered as banks of plasma weapons popped up from concealed hatches and powered up around me. Despite the situation I was impressed with the charge times. A.I.M. engineers apparently weren't slackers. I was pretty sure that even in dread knight mode I am hosed right here. I could see the motion detectors waiting for me to attempt to escape.

"Access code requested," a feminine voice says as part of the wall flips around revealing a keypad.

I quickly scan the pad, hoping for something simple like the keys being worn from use, narrowing down the choices, but no such luck. The keypad not only has pristine keys, it has over seventy of them. My heart is pounding and my mind is racing as I scan the keyboard down to the cellular level for threads and skin cells. I can actually feel the countdown starting as the computer waits for the code.

I reach forward, figuring I'm dead anyway, so I might as well try, and to my surprise my gauntlet peels back allowing me to touch the keys with my right hand. I was actually a little worried about being able to push the individual keys with the gauntlet on and I guess it responded to that, that may be a problem, if I survive this anyway. Certainly feels strange to get input from my body and the armor at the same time.

As I touch the keys, while wondering if they went with any of the common passwords, I'm hit with a memory of the movie Spaceballs. It can't be that simple can it? I mean they are uber geeks...

What the hell, it's not like I have a better idea anyway. I quickly punch in, one, two, three, four, five, and enter.

The wall in front of me slides aside and I enter, shocked that it worked.

Two steps in and I've fallen to one knee and as I struggle to stay conscious I realize I've spent the last couple of seconds on overload conditions. Apparently fear increases the connection to just over the critical amount needed. 'Well, shit!' I think to myself as it all goes black.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Tony Stark quickly dons his armor and jets off, as sensors he's planted relay the fact that someone has entered an old A.I.M. depot he's had staked out. Sure taking out their depots is a good way to reduce their effectiveness, but delaying the destruction until he can capture some of their minions on site, if not more important personnel, is generally worth the risk of them actually getting some use out of it first.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

I awake with a start and realize what had happened. 'Oh well, I'm sure with time I'll be able to handle everything without blacking out, 'probably.'

Regaining my feet I look around. The inside of the A.I.M. depot looks just like I expected it to. It looks like it's just missing Stormtroopers marching around to make it complete. I use one of the wall panels to call up the schematics for this place and locate the control room. I can call up John from there and give him access to the system.

A.I.M. put a lot of effort into keeping unauthorized people out, but once they're in there is no security. Something about the Marvel Universe makes the bad guys arrogant enough to never bother with a backup plan a lot of the time. It's almost sad really, but I'm still planning on taking advantage of it every chance I get. If A.I.M. wants to think they have impenetrable security, let them; it makes stealing from them easier once I get inside.

Hitting the control room I open up communications and set it for my private frequency, making the call back to John.

"Wow, easy op, huh?" he says distractedly as he plunders their database sending interesting tidbits my way.

I sat through the files while sending him a copy of my trip so far, naturally he finds it hilarious. Rolling my eyes, I head down to the med bay where they have several blank LMDs ready for use. I'm only slightly surprised that I can still see and manipulate data while I'm walking.

I'd like to take a moment here to pause and just say, I love my implant!

The LMD's take far less time than expected. I'm seriously going to have to improve them. Sure they are almost impossible to tell from an actual person, but they suck as combat units and I'd feel a lot better if Amy and Stacy had a T-800 or three backing them up. Some T-800s with adamantium frames would be perfect. Of course that metal is both hard to find and work so maybe a cyborg cat as a pet to start.

I shoot the idea to John in the form of a burst transmission, as the files I'd developed examining the idea had already gotten a bit unwieldy. Handling data is getting easier by the minute. I can actually feel John's interest and excitement as he sifts through my thoughts and ideas.

"The only problem will be getting a sample of Wolverine's blood," John says from the main screen in the control room as I take a seat.

"Nah, he bleeds all over the place. The problem is finding a way to identify and snag his blood while it's still alive, although his healing factor may help with that."

"Point," John concedes. "And we don't need his entire genome just his x-factor readings, so that simplifies things a bit."

I nod. "Build a set of throwaway armor and send an LMD wearing it to a battle Wolverine to take a reading. Now that we have A.I.M.'s data we can make our own pretty easily."

"A month or two through some cut outs, so the equipment can't be traced and we'll be set with our own LMD creation lab," he agrees.

I nod and spy a Mr. Coffee in the corner. I could use some coffee, I decide, and my helmet peels back as the tiny pieces it's composed of move to my shoulders. That strange double sensation feeling hits me again as I feel the different inputs.

The main monitor shows John, who's back to looking like Mr. Manhattan in a purple tuxedo as he sorts and uploads data to himself. A.I.M. has far too much to just download at once and a lot of it is stuff I'm just not interested in.

It's strange how with all this advanced tech they haven't bothered to invent a better coffee maker.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Iron Man landed right where the other armored figure had stood, the sensor bugs feeding him the code to access the base. He smirked to himself as he entered. Brains always beat brawn as far as he was concerned and outsmarting someone always gave him a thrill. He now had access to the base and not an alarm had sounded.

'Now if I were a bad guy, where would I go?' he thought to himself. 'Central Control,' he quickly decided, figuring he could always use the depot's systems to search for him if he wasn't there.

Glancing to the right he noticed someone had already called up the layout.

'That's either damned thoughtful of them or a trap,' he thought as he cautiously made his way there.

Deciding to treat it as a trap he warmed up his repulsor rays and got ready to fire the instant he had a target.

He tapped the door button and quickly slid inside before the door was even open, nailing a surprised looking blue figure that turned out to be on a control monitor and the man in armor who had arrogantly thought himself safe and removed his helmet.

Tony felt a slight twinge of guilt as the repulsor nailed the main in the back of the head slamming him face first into a bank of switches.

That slight twinge became a bit stronger when the stranger fell backwards, blood pouring from a ruined eye socket, but he pushed it away as the price the man paid for dealing with A.I.M.

'Besides he's probably wearing a knock off of my own armor anyway.'

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

I awake with bandages covering my left eye. I'm really woozy and I could swear I felt Amy's presence a couple of times during my last two weeks in lala land, but by the time my head finally clears I'm still alone and now I'm handcuffed down in a much greyer room.

I have no idea what's been going on, but a glance up at an empty IV bag tells me, they've been keeping me drugged and restrained, which means they aren't my friends, probably. Slipping out of the cuffs is child's play, meaning it took longer than I though it should, was much too loud, and afterwards I wanted a nap.

I undid the IV and was annoyed to find how weak I was. A couple of minutes stretching and walking around the room went a long way towards fixing that. It was probably just the last traces of drugs in my system. The room is grey. In fact it looks like some kind of cell. There is a window high up in the wall but it's barely a slit. The door is heavy metal and has no handle on this side.

Joy.

The door begins to open and I duck to the side as I catch a glimpse of armed guards in some sort of paramilitary uniform. A young man in medical scrubs is let in carrying a new IV bag. The door is almost shut before he notices I'm not in bed and takes a deep breath to sound the alarm.

I have him in a choke hold before he can make a sound. I release some of the pressure on his throat before asking, "Who are you people and why did you kidnap me?"

I'm pretty sure it's A.I.M., but I'm also sure that A.I.M. has better facilities in their pup tents they use for camping than this hole.

"I'm a medical intern and this is an army base. You weren't kidnapped you were captured by Iron Man. You're being charged with stealing state secrets," he quickly rattled off.

"I broke into an A.I.M. base, so unless the U.S. Government is admitting they are backing an organization that is set on global domination I don't see how I can be charged with anything, and that doesn't explain how I was injured or why I've been kept drugged unconscious for two weeks!"

"I don't know!"

"What are all my injuries?" I asked, more to calm him down than for any other reason. I had all my limbs and I could probably make stand ins for any damaged organs.

"Y-you have a bald patch on the back of your head from energy burns and we removed some ceramic fragments from your face and treated some minor burns."

I raised an eyebrow. "I was drinking coffee and he shot me in the back of the head?"

"I wasn't there, I have no idea," he quickly says.

"And why do I have bandages over my left eye?" I ask sarcastically, noticing he'd left it out of the list of injuries.

I can feel him wince."Your left eye is gone," he says nervously.

"Relax," I say. "You're not the one who destroyed it and it's not that hard to build a replacement. Do you have a cellphone on you?"

"No," he lies.

"Fine then you won't mind if I borrow it then since it's non-existent," I remark cheerfully and slowly release the hold I have him in and take the cellphone from his pocket.

Stepping back I order him to sit quietly while I make some calls.

"You'll never get away with this!" he says, but keeps his voice low enough to avoid alerting the guards, probably afraid I'll hurt him.

"No, Mr. Jenson," I say reading his name tag now that I'm facing him. "That's my line."

I use the phone to call a lawyer. of course being able to reach out mentally and connect to the phone makes getting the phone number from information easy. "Hello, Matt Murdoch? I'd like to report a crime and request your services."

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	6. Chapter 6

**S.I.M. Life 6**

I sit back on the bed, tossing him his cellphone and waving off the I.V. "Now that I'm awake I refuse further treatment without consent."

He knocks on the door and the guards let him out. I'm sure it'll hit the fan shortly, but for the moment I relax and feel around with my implant.

I can feel that the camera in the cell is frozen, which is probably the only reason I got away with my little scene. I release my hold on it. Apparently I'd instinctively frozen it while waking up. You'd think the guards monitoring the cams would have noticed it was a still frame, oh well, I'm sure the fact that Jensen was unable to drug me will cause an alarm soon enough.

I can feel some interesting inputs in my small range. The guards both have radios and cellphones. One of them has a digital watch that works as a TV Remote, that's not all that useful to me, it's just an interesting fact. More interesting than the featureless, grey walls in here anyway. I'm so bored I could swear the sheets are trying to tell me something.

The guards enter the room pointing guns at me, but they're moving so slow I feel like I could walk right by them before they could blink. I don't though, because I figure out what's going on. While I have the implant activated I am in a much more heightened state and while I can see and react as fast as Quicksilver, my body is not remotely as resilient. So yeah, I could probably pull a Quicksilver for about five steps as my body tore itself apart.

Even though I raise no defense and just sit there the guard on the left raises his rifle but to club me unconscious. I can't really do anything without getting shot, so I decide to make it costly for the idiot.

I read through his cellphone call list and switch numbers one and two. Let him explain to his wife and girlfriend how he was trying to call the other one. I then patch the cell's camera feed into his cell phone and dial a couple of local numbers to relay the video to their computer systems. I include details that I'm sure whoever is keeping me here will hate, like the fact that I was kept unconscious and was never charged with anything.

I order my implant to keep transmitting for five minutes after I lose consciousness, which comes after the eighth blow. Having a body whose stats are maximized for use in armor means I can take a lot of blows to the head. Doesn't mean they feel any better though. I feign unconsciousness after the second one just to make the guard look worse.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

I awake a week and a half later with no headache, which was good, but in the middle of a courtroom, which is bad.

Turns out the guard who did a number on me was yelling about me being a mutant, because of some abnormalities in my medical scan. I had my body maximized for armor use and it shows in a bunch of little ways, but I don't have an X-gene.

Murdock is an even better lawyer than he is a crime fighter. In the week and a half I've been out of it he's managed to bring my case to the public's attention and get me an actual trial! Considering they were planning on burying me in the system so deep I'd never see daylight again I consider that nothing short of a miracle.

**2 hours later**

"We find the defendant guilty on all counts and sentenced him to life without parole," the Judge announced, bringing the gavel down with a very final sounding bang.

OK, so I didn't get off, I still maintain that Matt Murdock is a damn fine attorney. The fix was simply in, in this case.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get you off, Mr. Steele," Matt apologized.

"Don't worry about it. You showed that my rights were violated more than a retired porn-star. The number of laws they broke or ignored to get this sentence guarantees I won't be in for long," I assured him.

"They forced me to sign a nondisclosure agreement before I was allowed to try your case and they banned outside witnesses, claiming they were protecting state secrets. No one will know."

I grinned widely knowing he could 'see' it. "The prosecution put bugs under our table so they could listen in to what we talked about during the trial and they shut down the mandatory audio and video devices that were installed to insure a case like this didn't happen. Wouldn't it be a shame if the opposite happened and the recording of this case were broadcast, not live because that would give the game away, but say the broadcast started about a minute ago?" I asked innocently.

"You were tested and show no X-gene. How are you doing this? I mean, you fed me information that they clearly didn't want me to know, despite being legally required to tell me during the trial, regardless of having been unconscious for the entire period leading up to the trial itself and now this," he asked curiously.

"Just because I was unconscious doesn't mean my friends were and you know that not all super-human abilities come from the X-gene. I have a friend who is an A.I. and I can communicate with any electronic device within a couple of feet, so he arranged for the broadcast while I read their PDAs," I explained.

"You are really well informed and trusting," Matt decided.

"If a king can't trust his subject, who can he trust?"

It took Matt a second to get that joke before he laughed. Being blind I'm sure he's had some one eyed guy joke about it before.

"Seriously, Stark wants my armor because he considers it too dangerous to allow people to access it, so to keep the military's hands off it he had to claim it was his. We both know what kind of trouble his armor caused, so I understand where he's coming from, but that doesn't change the fact that it was his cluster fuck that started all this and his decisions that put me in this position. I'll have to break out of prison and become a fugitive... but it beats working at a fast food place asking if you want fries with that."

"Won't the publicity from the railroading get you out?"

"They always have another card to play and, even if they don't decide to just off me, there is nothing stopping them from faking my death and keeping me locked up while they throw some scapegoats to the wolves."

"You are very pessimistic."

"Not in this case. Too much money and power are tied up in this case and as you know it's not that power corrupts so much as the corrupt seek power. Isn't that right Mr. Stark?" I said feeling a couple of encrypted sensor bugs sneak our way.

"What?" Matt asked. He plays blind and so skillfully you have to admire him.

"Tony Stark A.K.A. Iron Man just sent a couple of bugs to relay our conversation to him despite the fact that it's privileged information. He has about as much respect for the law as I have for him."

"Mr. Steele, it's been a pleasure working with you. Is there anything further I can do for you since my legal skills were of little use?" Mat asked, knowing we had little time and ignoring Stark's bugs.

I know he's hinting about Daredevil helping break me out, but though it's nice of him it'd really bring down heat he doesn't need. I'll have to think up something nice for him later.

"I'm good, thanks. Just use the rest of the money in the account to keep up the good work you do. A lot of poor people get stepped on by people like Stark, who feel they are above the law, and having someone on their side who knows their legal rights can do a lot of good."

"I'll be sure to do that," he promises, just before an electronic collar is slapped on me pissing me off something fierce. Reminds me too much of slavery and the camps neither of which is good for my temper. As everything goes grey I realize that anger is another emotion I'll have to control, because I'm still not completely adapted to the implant yet as it sets off sensory overload conditions.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"Noooo!" a young girl screamed like her heart was breaking.

"Amy! It'll be alright, I promise!" John swore wishing he had a body ready.

"You're going to be locked up in prison and they've slapped a power neutralizing collar on you, how can it be alright?!" Amy yelled at John.

"Because we planned for it. In less than half an hour the first LMD will be ready and in a week I could easily replace the entire prison staff with them. Getting Jack free is easy and the collar is built to work on X-gene mutants, which he is not."

"You planned on getting locked up!?"

Uh-oh, she's pissed, think quickly dammit! "Of course not, but we planned out what to do for it. Hell, we have plans for bringing ourselves back from the dead, busting out of prison is easy."

Amy sniffed and looked doubtful but willing to be convinced. "Really?"

"Of course, replacing the staff with LMDs is a last resort, but it'd work. We have dozens of more subtle plans, but none of them are needed at the moment."

"Why not?" Amy asked wiping her eyes and looking much improved.

"Because it gives jack a chance to examine the collar which is important, it's one of our goals, and because, since the prison is high tech with all the guards wearing Stark armor, he can walk out after he gets used to the place," John assured her.

"But why'd you pass out when they slapped the collar on you then?"

"From the readings I'm going to guess Jack hit an emotion that amped the implant up to overload conditions."

"It's been three weeks, shouldn't you have adapted by now?"

"I'd need to be conscious for longer periods of time for that to be true," John smirks, trying to cheer her up.

She giggled a little, showing signs of recovery. "So what emotion was it?" she asked.

"A combination of hate, anger, and rage. One of the reasons we want to get our hands on a collar is because we hate how mutants are treated."

"Mom says that mutant men are just men, meaning half are jerks and the other half are training to be jerks."

"How about mutant women?" I ask as I hunt down something that tripped my sensors and examine the footage and readings from when I was giving Amy my full attention.

Amy shrugged. "Just like anyone else, although some get cool hair colors without having to use dye."

"Sounds about right. Your X-gene is partially active, but it hasn't changed your hair color any," I said trying to break it to her gently.

"Mine?" She grins. "Do I get cool powers or sucky ones?"

"Cool ones of course. If the powers you get aren't awesome enough we'll see about getting you a better set, even if we have to steal them from someone else to do it!"

Amy beamed.

"Of course having brains is the ultimate power and you already have that. With brains you can duplicate any power."

"Got that right!" Amy laughed.

"Now let's go down to the cave, love and see if we have anything that'll activate it, cause if your hair changes color we'll have to dye it back to blonde before mom gets home or she'll kill the both of us!"

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Charles Xavier took off the helmet that was his interface to Cerebro.

Jean Grey and Scott Summers looked at him questioningly.

"It was a young girl who's powers just became active, but something's obscuring the signal, I can't get a lock."

"Could it be Magneto?" Scott asked.

"Doubtful, but possible," Xavier admitted.

"I'll alert the X-Men and see if anyone has an idea," Jean Grey said.

"Thank you, Jean," Xavier said still a little tired from his attempts to locate the source of the interference.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Emma Frost, the white queen of the Hellfire club removed her Cerebro-knockoff helmet interface from her head and frowned.

"Problems, Emma?" Selene, the black queen of the Hellfire club asked, always looking for a weakness she could exploit.

"A new mutant has appeared, but something is scrambling the signal."

"Hmmm, Magneto or one of Xavier's group perhaps?"

"Doubtful, Xavier's not canny enough and Magneto's too arrogant to bother."

"A new group or just the nature of the talent itself?" Selene suggested.

"Possible, at any rate science has failed so how about sorcery?" Emma suggested.

Selene smirked. "I'll throw the bones and see what we get."

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Magneto frowned as his Cerebro interface removed itself from his head.

"Problems, Magneto?" Mystique asked.

"Possibly, I've located a new mutant, but the signal degraded before I could lock it down."

The blue skinned mutant frowned. "What do you think happened?"

"No idea, probably the nature of the mutant's power itself is interfering. The ability to hide a mutant's presence from detection without requiring a great deal of technology could be useful."

"I'll check with Destiny," Mystique decided.

"Ask her the best time to show up as well," Magneto requested. "It'll prevent us from wasting time following up some vaguely worded prophecy to make sure we get there at the exact moment she wants us there. I'm sure she's tired of making them up anyway."

"You really believe Irene would do such a thing?" Mystique asked.

"Her name isn't Destiny because she's a pop singer," Magneto replied dryly.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"Mom, you'd be OK if I was a mutant, right?" Amy asked.

"As long as you didn't start calling yourself Homo-Superior and talking about how you're the future of humanity, sure," Stacy said absently as the illegally broadcast footage from the courthouse was shown again.

"Can I gloat if I get bigger breasts from my mutant enhancement than yours?" Amy asked.

"As long as they're not store bought. Silicone implants are tacky, breast implants anyway," Stacy muttered.

"Great!" Amy cheered.

"Are we going to do something about John being in prison?" Stacy asked.

"John said he's fine. He's just in there because he wants to examine the power nullifier collars."

Stacy turned to her daughter, now paying close attention. "Did you just say you were growing mutant boobs and going to make John wear a collar?"

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Lacking the X-gene and having shown no combat ready abilities, I was sent to a prison that wasn't the vault, much to my surprise.

The warden was unhappy because it was pretty clear I was innocent and everyone knew it. The other prisoners were unhappy because of a combination of things. First, I was considered a Super by then, meaning their quiet prison life could be interrupted by explosions and violence with some other Super either trying to bust me out or kill me. Second, even though I didn't have the X-gene I could be a dangerous freak who'd learned to hide it. And third, They were in prison.

Yeah, the prisoners left me alone and I left them alone. For the most part the prisoners were a quiet lot just wanting to get their time down with and get out.

It reminded me of being in the military so much I had to remind myself not to salute the guards.

The guards had just about the same outlook as the prisoners, with the exception that a few of them wanted to 'teach the freak a lesson.'

Fortunately they knew touching me would bring the warden down on them so I didn't have to worry too much.

How did I know all this? I had John ship me some tiny robotic drones.

They looked and acted like cockroaches, but were actually mobile audio/visual recorders.

I spent half my time examining the collar, which they left on me 'just in case' and the other half working on adapting to the implant.

I had the deluxe 'Hannibal Lector' cell, even though I'd shown no signs of violence or even hostility, but that was fine with me. Putting me in a high tech cell was like imprisoning Magneto in an iron cage, useless but handy for us.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"So Jack's going to be OK?" Stacy asked hopefully.

"Jack will be fine, he's locked up in a nice, safe, and comfortable jail cell while he studies something. I mean, what could go wrong?" John asked.

The replay of Jack's trial was suddenly interrupted by a news commentator. "It's been a week since the crookedest trial in the modern world took place and we have some late breaking news on Jack Steele's life as these video clips that were anonymously mailed to us will show."

Scenes of Jack being polite to three increasingly hostile prison guards were shown, followed by meetings between the tree guards and them talking about the latest meeting of the friends of humanity.

"Uh oh," Stacy muttered.

Scenes of the three guards threatening inmates and organizing a riot were shown.

The news commentator came back on. "The footage was sent to us anonymously and has already been declared a fake by the US Government, despite the fact that all independent tests confirm this is the real deal. We now go live to the prison riot already in progress."

The cameras cut to show several views, some showing the prisoners breaking things, and the guards trying to calm things down without killing anyone, while another showed the three guards approaching Jack's cell with obvious makeshift weapons and contraband as well as their own prison issue ones.

"Plant the evidence while I take care of the mutie," one of the guards said, going through a ring of keys.

The news cut over to a view of Jack's cell, where he laid on the bed, unmoving and seemingly unaware of the doom about to befall him.

Jack's cell was composed of three inch thick crystalline walls developed by Reed Richards for the purpose of containing super-villains of immense strength and destructive capabilities. The lock that held the door closed was specifically keyed to only open when the key inserted into the lock matched not only the physical description, but had the right electronic key implanted in it.

All across the US people were glued to their screens watching the drama unfold.

The key turned but the lock didn't open, because Jack's first action on being placed in the cell was to scramble the electronic reader so it'd require him sending the signal for it to open.

Furious at having come so far only to be stymied by a malfunctioning door one of the guards pulled his gun and shot at the offending piece of technology.

The ricochet nailed him in the groin.

John slept on in his soundproof cell, blissfully unaware of external events as people across the nation watched him sleep through the mess in his soundproof cell.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

I awoke to find myself in the middle of yet another trial. This trial was for causing a prison riot and shooting one of the guards.

"Why do you people feel the need to keep drugging me?" I asked with a yawn.

The trial went just about the same way the last one did, except this time I was given a hostile lawyer that kept trying to get me to plead guilty and a judge who took the prosecution's side regardless of legality.

Once again I insured all details of the trial were broadcast a few minutes after it ended.

Having another twenty years added to my sentence of life without parole didn't make much difference to me, but my subsequent transfer to The Vault did.

The Vault was where the worst of the population was incarcerated (Mass murderers, super villains and crazies, oh my!) and I was going to be subjected to them, joy, but at least it was something I had planned on.

The mutant ability to 'get the hell out of dodge' would come in handy right about now or maybe something like teleportation, so I could spend my time relaxing on a beach some place. Heh, give me the ability to teleport and I'd probably redefine the word lazy.

Oh well, maybe this wont be so bad. Sure, and I have a bridge to sell you.

Sure I had plans for getting sent there but that didn't mean this was going to be a cakewalk and when you add shooting a guard into the list of charges... this wasn't going to be fun.

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	7. Chapter 7

**S.I.M. Life 7**

Actually The Vault (TM) wasn't so bad, individual cells exactly like the one I had in the last jail and much more relaxed and polite guards, all of them were wearing Stark designed armor so they felt safe enough to relax and they knew they were being recorded so they were remarkably polite.

Amy's worries about retaliation were also removed when I first arrived and was informed that they had tested the footage themselves and it wasn't faked and his blood showed no evidence of having an X-gene.

However, despite all that, it was their job to keep me imprisoned and they were honor bound to do so and regardless of how crooked the trial was, they did believe I was guilty of the original charges.

I responded by explaining my side of the story and promised that if I ever actually did breakout, I'd do so without harming the guards or damaging The Vault itself.

They thanked me for my thoughtfulness and withheld their laughter till I was out of the room.

I could actually get to like these guys. Apparently to work at The Vault you were required to pass more than a few psych evals geared towards finding individuals who were sane, honorable, and believed strongly in duty.

Too bad more government institutions weren't run this way.

With the amount of technology this place had I could have walked out the door in the first five minutes, simply by making all the monitors and sets of Guardsman armor ignore me and show images of me in my cell instead.

But truthfully I could use a break from being gassed all the time and The Vault preyed upon my weaknesses by having an ungodly large media library and allowing me to watch whatever I liked in my cell.

I love anime. Plus I amused myself by uploading a copy of the last Iron Man movie from memory for everyone to watch, although I did limit that to the guards for Pepper's sake not Tony's.

I collected data on everyone in custody and sent it to 'John', just because I could and it might come in handy some day.

I also designed upgrades for the Guardsman armor and passed them along to S.H.I.E.L.D. I'm sure my obvious improvements over Stark's basic design raised some eyebrows, especially considering my approach was completely different from his.

I prevented three escape attempts by notifying the guards of things that had been tampered with.

Of course this was all in the first week there...

**New York Underground.**

John whistled merrily as he completed the adjustments on the newly finished armor. It looked like a cheap knock off of Iron Man's armor scaled down for a ten year old.

He had a plan for both embarrassing Iron Man and getting a blood sample from Wolverine that should make Jack and Amy giggle.

A small LMD walked in looking too innocent and earnest to be real. "Billy, reporting for duty," Billy the LMD, said brightly.

"Excellent! Ready to go?" John asked.

"Does the Pope shit in the woods?"

John blinked a few times and examined Billy carefully. "Do we need to adjust your programming?"

Billy laughed. "I've compiled a series of cute phrases and sayings to mangle to make myself look adorable on screen."

John chuckled. "I figure about five to seven battles on the air before Iron Man tracks you down to try and take your armor away."

"Iron man against the Boy of Steel," Billy smirked maliciously. "Even if he wins he loses. I'll have to see if I can get him named Armor Thief."

"I've got a live broadcast of Wolverine facing the Hulk in Central Park that you can get involved in, if you hurry."

Billy laughed and spread his arms as metal tentacles descended from the ceiling and assembled the armor around him. The small armored figure dropped down a quick-escape shaft into the sewers leading to the East River which allowed him to exit miles away in under a minute.

Busting out of the water he activated the magnetic accelerator using the earth's magnetic field to boost his speed. The carefully timed sonic boom of Billy's arrival threw Wolverine back and made the Hulk wince.

"Have no fear, the Boy of Steel is here!" Billy announced standing in front of the Hulk in blue and silver armor patterned after Iron Man's own armor, in looks anyway.

The Hulk looked down at the tiny intruder wondering where he came from and where the hairy midget with the claws went.

"Kid, get out of there!" Wolverine commanded, blood leaking from his ears.

"I'll stop him!" Billy swore and lines of light began to form on the armor's arms as he was clearly charging up some kind of power blast.

Seeing the height of his foe and where his arms were aimed, the Hulk covered his crotch with his hands just before Billy fired. Wolverine flinched back from the sound and fury of the blast hitting his enhanced senses. When the blast petered out after a few seconds the Hulk was still standing, but the back of his hand protecting his crotch was smoking and discolored for a moment. The Hulk's pants however had been vaporized.

"Hulk, feel draft," the green goliath said, before figuring out what had happened.

"Come on, put up your dukes!" Billy ordered, getting into a boxing pose.

"Hulk have no pants," The Hulk observed, ignoring the small figure that was punching him just above the waist.

"Take that and that and that!" Billy yelled as he hit the Hulk.

Wolverine just stood there, unsure of what he was supposed to do in this situation.

"Hulk going to have to take nap," the Hulk decided before leaping away, the force of his jump shattering the concrete beneath him and knocking Billy over.

"Yeah, you better run!" Billy yelled getting to his feet, "I got lots more where that came from. No one defeats Billy Mays... I mean Ferro Boy!"

The cameras watching had been split between broadcasting Billy's taunts and the large green moon that was rising in the sky.

Billy turned to see Wolverine with blood leaking from his ears and quickly hurried over to him, popping out a small medkit that he used to 'treat' Wolverine. "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Wolverine, sir. I didn't see you were hurt! I should have lead him away from you before finishing him off!"

Billy packed away the used cotton swabs and gauze he'd used to clean the blood from Wolverine's face and ears. "You OK, Mr. Wolverine, sir?"

"Just peachy, kid," Wolverine replied. "Nice work. I'm going to go now," he announced deciding the Hulk had the right idea, he was going to take a nap and pretend this whole thing never occurred.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"Absorbing man's hitting the bank," John announced, making Billy giggle evilly, before he donned Armor and split.

"He's very loud," came a voice from behind John who spun around and found himself looking at a one eyed woman in leather who was playing with a butterfly knife.

"Hello?" John said surprised that someone had managed to sneak in until he recognized who it was. "My name's John. Who are you and why are you here?"

"My name is Callisto, leader of the Morlocks, and I'm here because you've moved into my territory and I need to know what kind of problems we'll be having."

"How do you mean?"

"We avoid outsiders, because of the troubles they bring and the attention they inevitably draw to us," Callisto said. "Things would be simpler if you simply moved elsewhere."

John nodded thoughtfully and ran various calculations through his head. "How about a counter offer? I need my monitoring station here, because of all the networks I can tap, but I can move Billy and everything active to a section far away from you and pay rent for my staying here?"

"Sounds suspiciously reasonable and what exactly are you offering in the way of rent?"

"I see no need to be unreasonable and what would you like; cash, food, medicine?"

"We need all three, but your offer sounds too good to be true."

"Well my mutation made me rich and will continue to do so. I've got no problem sharing it with others who weren't as lucky in the genetic lottery."

"What's your mutant ability?" she asked, a bit of hope creeping into her voice as her advanced senses told her he wasn't lying to her.

"My body is adapted in a hundred different ways to interface with advanced technology and my mind is advanced enough to alter, improve, and invent as needed."

"You don't look that different," Callisto pointed out.

"This isn't my body," John said hitting a button on the wall that revealed three more Johns floating peacefully in tubes. Well two were, the third was bobbing his head and playing air guitar.

"What?!" Callisto burst out, suddenly worried about a mutant body snatcher.

"Relax, I grow extra bodies as needed. It's high tech not some horror movie," John said reading her response easily.

"Oh." Callisto relaxed and the knife vanished. "Why the extras and what are they doing?"

"Two of them are mentally sorting data and the third has gotten bored and started watching MTV," John replied. "Billy has arrived," John said suddenly, interrupting Callisto's response and flipping on a large view screen.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Billy arrived feet first, flinging Absorbing man's stone form into the vault door.

Spiderman groaned. "I was trying to keep him away from anything harder than stone."

Absorbing man slammed his ball and chain into the vault door quickly transforming into steel.

"Well it's all part of my awesome plan," Billy said excitedly.

Spiderman dodged as the large steel ball smashed into the floor where he'd just been standing. "The plan to get me flattened?"

Billy waved his hand and Absorbing man was flung out into the street. "The plan I'm in the middle of." Being made of metal at the moment, Absorbing man wasn't even phased as he quickly recovered and climbed to his feet.

Billy rushed out of the bank and waved a hand upwards flinging Absorbing man high in the air. Using the magnetic manipulators in his gauntlets, Billy caught Absorbing man about twenty feet up and managed to separate him from his enchanted ball and chain.

"I wouldn't advise changing back to human," Billy said. "Cause the fall would break bones. and as long as you're metal I can hold you here."

"I can't hold this form more than ten minutes," Absorbing man said worriedly.

"Better hope The Vault sends guardsman for you quickly, then," Billy snickered.

Spiderman shot a layer of webbing over the Absorbing man's ball and chain, so even if he got loose he wouldn't be able to use its power. Hearing sirens he quickly vanished.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"So why do you have a ten year old out fighting crime?" Callisto asked.

"He's not ten, he just looks and sounds ten. Billy is just another of my bodies. I'm setting a trap for the dick who shot me in the back and destroyed one of my eyes," John explained. "As well as stealing my armor and making me a fugitive."

"So where's your real body?"

"In The Vault."

"And you haven't tried to bust yourself out?"

"Nope, my original body is quite comfortable there and is still healing up."

**In the vault...**

Jack watched Ranma ½ on the main monitor in his cell while sipping a slushee from the slushee machine in the corner. He made a mental note to upload the anime version in his head to the system as the version they had strictly followed the manga.

One of the guards looked in the cell and turned to his partner. "A slushy machine?"

"I checked the order five times, it was legitimate."

"I wonder why."

"Jack seems pretty happy with it," he pointed out.

"Yeah, not exactly an escape risk at the moment."

The guards stood at their posts quietly for a moment.

"I still say Inuyasha was the better anime."

"Not unless you're judging it by length," the other guard snorted.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"Besides as long as he's in there he can't be accused of being connected to anything that's going on."

Callisto nodded. "OK, but the first sign of trouble and you're gone."

John nodded. "I have no problem with that. Get me a wish list of everything you want, try and think of it in terms of a rescue mission, 'cause if I set it up as a relief aide to a foreign country I can move a lot more goods to you and no one will bat an eye."

"You're serious?" Callisto asked stunned as she realized the enormity of what he had planned.

"Sure, I even know of a doctor who is a mutant and a very visible one at that, that I can probably convince to give everyone medical checkups and take care of any serious medical problems you might have."

Callisto gave him a suspicious glance. "You already knew about us, this is some kind of setup!"

"I looked into the best places to spend money to make a difference and a situation like yours was one of the top two. The other is a blind defense attorney in the Devil's kitchen and he was easy to handle because he takes donations."

Callisto looked at him intently. "What's the catch?"

"There isn't one. I believe in karma and have lots of money. By making the world a better place I can generate enough good Karma to counter the fact that I spend ninety-percent of my time doing whatever I think sounds fun."

"That's... a weird view point."

"Yep, but it works for me. Money is easy to make when you're a mutant of the tech persuasion, but being able to claim you've made the world a better place when you spend most of your time drunk in strip clubs or playing wild video games is a bit harder... Unless you let the money do it for you. So go nuts, tell me your wishes and I'll find a way to grant them."

Callisto laughed bitterly, figuring the man was a lunatic and there was little chance he'd come through with his promises. "I'll take a working eye to replace the one I lost and a way to prevent Leech from screwing up the powers of everyone around him."

John opened up a cabinet and pulled out a small block of crystal with an eye in it that he tossed to Callisto.

"Haha, funny," she replied sarcastically.

"The casing around it is to protect it from contamination before use, it dissolved in water and must be put in place quickly as the bio circuits that connect it to the optic nerve degrade in air."

"You knew I was going to ask for this?" she asked worriedly, wondering who the snitch was.

"Nope, been working on improving it for my main body which is missing an eye, as I've mentioned."

"I don't suppose you have one that'll match my other eye?"

"As soon as you install that one you can make it change to match the other. I'm still tinkering with it, because I want to increase the amount of storage space it has."

"Storage space?" Callisto asked confused.

"Yeah, in addition to being a fully functioning eye it's also a fully functioning computer system, but not as powerful as I'd like. I mean I can program it to receive TV broadcasts and record my favorite shows, but it only holds about five hundred hours of footage before you need to delete stuff to make more space."

"And do you have anything that'll stop Leech from shutting down everyone's powers?"

"Sure," John said, pulling out a briefcase and opening it to reveal a number of pieces of jewelry.

"What are they?" Callisto asked, not accepting anything at face value around John anymore.

"These are all designed to neutralize mutant abilities, so anyone who has an uncontrolled or always on power can shut it down when they want."

"Good things generally don't happen to us Morlocks."

John shrugged. "Good things happen to me all the time, so I figure making good things happen for others will encourage that to continue. I won't be buying a private island in the tropics for you, but land in Wyoming is cheap, or if you know of an abandoned or condemned building in the area you do like, I can probably swing it."

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	8. Chapter 8

**S.I.M. Life 8**

The fact that Magneto and the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants arrived at the same time as Professor X and the X-Men really didn't surprise me all that much. I figured when one side made their move so would the other. Amy had built a device that allowed her to sense active mutants from hundreds of miles away, which had given us more than enough time to prepare for their arrival and give them a signal to home in on that wouldn't lead to our front door. Living in the desert had its advantages, one of which is having plenty of room to battle without having to worry about collateral damage.

The X-men and the Brotherhood both landed in matching SR-1 blackbirds, of course the reason for that is I'm pretty sure Magneto nicked his from Xavier.

Me and Amy are sitting in a modified Sherman tank. The gun and turret have been removed and most of the top half opened up so we have more comfortable seating and a large canopy over our heads to keep the sun off.

"John and Amy Flint?" Professor Xavier asks, as the two groups square off, ready for a battle.

"That would be us," I reply as Amy gives a cheerful wave before reaching up and flipping a switch on her bicycle helmet.

Wolverine and Sabretooth are eying each other, as are Toad and Nightcrawler. Cyclops is glaring at Colossus, who seems to have joined the brotherhood recently and Marvel Girl is keeping an eye on Pyro. Beast and Avalanche seem to be the most relaxed save for their leaders, as they just nodded at one another and waited. Rogue and Mystique are each glancing at the other while pretending not to.

"We're here to see about enrolling Amy in school," Professor X said. "We can teach you how to control your power and fit in with society."

Amy's helmet beeped and she glared at him. "Stay out of my head!"

"I was just scanning who was present, not their thoughts," Xavier quickly excused himself. "I just want to make sure there are no surprises."

"And I would like you to join the Brotherhood," Magneto said. "The Friends of Humanity are just a new face on an old evil that humanity is riddled with. We seek to protect mutant kind from those that would prey upon it."

"Violence is never the answer-" Xavier argued patiently.

"Yes it is," I interrupted him. "War is the final arbiter for when a peaceful solution can't be found. War can't say who is right only who is left, but sometimes that is the only solution."

"That is very perceptive," Magneto said, "Though I find hearing a human say that somewhat disquieting."

"Human?" Amy asked me.

"These two groups only concern themselves with X-Gene mutants," I explained. "Xavier talks about equality, but notice the lack of humans in his group. Magneto is much more honest, but is coming close to becoming that which he hates."

"X-Gene mutants?" Beast spoke up. "What other mutants are there?"

"Let's start with the races of man," I suggested. "The Atlanteans split off from normal humans and when crossed with current humans you get people like Prince Namor, he's a crossbreed so he's a mutant, though he doesn't carry the X-Gene."

"Recruiting royalty, much less royalty that despises air breathers, is a problem," Magneto said dryly.

"Very true, but any human Atlantean crossbreed would have the same potential," I pointed out. "And that's only one race. The Deviants are going for the demonic look and despise all normal looking people. I'm not sure where they live anyway. The Inhumans are the closest to X-Gene mutants you'll find and their adulthood ritual is to expose themselves to Terragen Mist which mutates them. They live in a hidden city on the dark side of the moon."

"Really?" Pyro said with a snort.

"It's true," Xavier said.

"The Mole Men live below the surface and the less said about them the better. The Savage Land... I also can't say much about."

"Nice to know we ain't totally alone," Rogue muttered.

"Plus we have the occasional spontaneous mutation without the X-Gene caused by atavistic traits. Spiderman is a good example of that."

"What about the Fantastic Four?" Beast asked.

"Cosmic ray bombardment, similar to the Hulk and Gamma radiation except they didn't need his rare gene sequence to survive," I replied.

"You seem to be extraordinarily well educated on the topic," Xavier said. "And why can't I sense your presence?"

"Amy turned out to have the X-Gene and asked me to activate it for her," I replied. "I did some homework so we wouldn't be taken by surprise. Of course, I was already researching the subject to look for others like me, though I didn't find any."

"You forgot the Kree," Amy pointed out.

"Oh yeah, the Kree race when crossed with humans produce very powerful mutants. I'm not sure about the Skrulls, but then there are lots of aliens the human race has not produced children with."

"And you are?" Beast asked curiously.

"Heavily adapted to the use of high technology," I replied. "Genetically engineered or possibly just altered by the eternal grind of evolution."

"And that's made you immune to telepathy?" Marvel girl asked.

"No, I'm immune for a different reason that I don't plan on sharing."

As some unseen signal passed between them, Wolverine and Sabertooth attacked each other, which lead to both teams going at it.

"Magneto, Xavier care to withdraw and continue uninterrupted?" I asked, while Amy popped up a holographic display and began popping up turrets from the sand that opened fire, sending streams of water, paint, glue, glitter, and whatever else she'd loaded them with. Magneto nodded and Xavier sighed before floating over in his hover chair as we moved a little ways away.

"What is her power?" Magneto asked, as Amy was busy laughing and playing.

"Building and repairing advanced tech," I replied. "Note: I said tech and not weapons, though she is capable of that."

"Didn't you make your fortune on advanced technology?" Xavier asked.

"Yes, and hopefully as she matures she'll become skilled enough to work on the stuff I design for my own use, but in the mean time she can play with the stuff I designed for public use."

"I'm already past that point and I need you to patent some stuff for me," Amy said absently. "Release the cute and fluffy bunnies!" she ordered harshly into the mic.

Xavier and Magneto were unable to stop themselves from turning to look as two large cannons popped up out of the sand and began firing fluffy white bunnies with startling accuracy. Those unable to dodge found that the bunnies had teeth and claws that while not remotely deadly were still quite painful. Those that could dodge found that the rabbits could quickly rebound and attach themselves to whatever they could reach.

"They're regenerating," Xavier said as he saw a rabbit with its head bathed in flames regrow skin and fur.

"They're partially metallic," Magneto said as Colossus stumbled around with what looked like several dozen bunnies glued to him. "That much fur in this heat can't be good for him."

The two mutant leaders turned to look at me.

"I made the bunnies, but the rest was her," I swore.

The X-Men and the Brotherhood actually had to team up to fight off the bunnies, Pyro and Wolverine being required to permanently disable them.

"Release the Kitties?" Amy asked hopefully.

I laughed. "No, those are for your personal protection, not as object lessons."

"A show of force?" Magneto asked.

"Or a demonstration of group effort?" Xavier asked curiously.

"Six of one, half a dozen of the other," Amy said. "I could have asked for poison claws on them."

They turned to me.

"I could and would have if she'd asked. Amy wanted to make a point, she's happy where she is and violence will be met with enough force to make any victory a Pyrrhic one."

"Most people would not put themselves in my grasp while saying such things," Magneto said dryly, not making any overt threats, just reasserting his perceived superiority.

"I'm not actually here," I replied. "This body is just the one I use to watch over Amy with and if either of you actually harmed her (unlikely as you wish to recruit her) I have no problem using nuclear warheads on your respective places of residence."

"Interesting," Magneto said thoughtfully. "And how do you feel about offers of employment? Just because I can't recruit her doesn't mean we have nothing to offer. I could use someone to look over the environmental systems at my base periodically to insure they are functioning properly."

"Can I?" Amy asked excitedly.

"Poke around secret bases and peek at new tech? hmmm..." I teased.

"Please?"

"Finish your armor first," I replied.

"It would be easier with some decent neural interfaces," she groaned.

"Your mom said no piercings or implants until you're sixteen and I'm not stupid enough to go against her on this. You'll just have to work with muscle movements, voice commands, and your suit's A.I.."

"She is so overprotective!" Amy whined.

"You're the one who designed neural implants to resemble the current college fads."

"They work best when implanted at nerve clusters and this way no one would think they were anything more than jewelry," she pointed out.

"And you don't see why your mother would have a problem with you getting pierced there at your age?" I asked dryly.

"Definitely not letting her see the work around interfaces I developed then," she muttered.

"You work on external tool packs while I help with the internal systems and you'll be ready to fly by the middle of next month at the latest."

"Woot!"

"You do know he'll be using her visits to try and convince her to join, don't you?" Xavier asked.

"And she'll be trying to convince them to turn to our way of thinking in return," I reply.

"And that is?" Magneto asked.

"Mars is a bit of a fixer upper, but still conveniently located," Amy replied. "The Inhumans live on the moon and are pretty happy with their domed city, but Mars has better gravity and room for expansion."

"The environment leaves a lot to be desired," Magneto pointed out.

"Terraforming may take a century or two," Amy admitted, "But the rewards far outweigh the costs."

"Your plans are even more grandiose than my own," Magneto said. "Let me know how they pan out. I'll be in touch." He floated off to retrieve his team who were still cleaning themselves up.

"I'll also be offering a similar deal," Xavier said with a nod. "Call when you are ready and we'll schedule things." He nodded politely and floated off in his chair.

"Blood samples?" I asked.

"Everyone on the field except Colossus," she replied cheerfully.

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


End file.
